Saturday, August 20, 2011

Existing Misconceptions About Sex Surrogates






There is a professional difference between sex surrogates and what we call prostitutes or strippers. However when we begin to explain it by word of mouth or through writing, the difference only appears to be a thin line. Everyone knows the professional details of a prostitute. The sex surrogates on the other hand cure sex related issues in individuals and their therapies may or may not involve sexual intercourse.



This is the reason that over time certain misconceptions have evolved in relation to the sex surrogates. In this article we are going to discuss these different misconceptions.



• One of the common misconceptions which are being circulated is that the whole concept of sexual surrogacy is illegal, unethical and in fact evil. It is easy to imagine why people would think as such. This is a country where almost half of the population has conservative values and do not like discussing private matters with any one such as sex. Of course then there is the other half which have no issues discussing about their sex life. In fact, they believe that if they don’t talk or find solutions to such problems then they cannot function comfortably as a complete person. Psychologists and psychotherapists therefore believe that the need of sex surrogates is very much there.



• Another misunderstanding about sex surrogates is that they are nothing but legalized prostitutes. However, as briefly written before the job of the prostitutes is entirely different than that of the surrogates. Whereas the prostitutes only help the individuals release extra sexual energy in them and the motive is to receive instant satisfaction, the goals of the sex surrogates is entirely different. The surrogate does sexual healing which most of the time does not involve having sex with the client. The aim of the sex surrogates is to deal with problems not enjoying having sex with the clients. The therapy mostly deals with improving communication skills and understanding one’s sexuality. If actual sex is needed or not, this is decided by the therapist not the surrogate or the client.



• A third misconception is that the sex surrogates treat only abnormal and miserable people and that this kind of therapy is not needed with normal individuals. Where it is true that people who are healthy as in their sex life do not require sex surrogacy, but those who do require are certainly not abnormal. It is due to some sexual dysfunction, that is, it could be medical or it could be psychological; which means that the clients due to their past life suffer from some fear of intimacy. The sex surrogates in this respect help the clients come out of these restraints.



In conclusion we have seen that people still widely mistake the profession of sexual surrogacy with other things. However this is not the case and people still need to be educated about the subject. For now it is satisfactory that those who require this therapy are getting it in the form of sex surrogates.


Existing Misconceptions About Sex Surrogates






There is a professional difference between sex surrogates and what we call prostitutes or strippers. However when we begin to explain it by word of mouth or through writing, the difference only appears to be a thin line. Everyone knows the professional details of a prostitute. The sex surrogates on the other hand cure sex related issues in individuals and their therapies may or may not involve sexual intercourse.



This is the reason that over time certain misconceptions have evolved in relation to the sex surrogates. In this article we are going to discuss these different misconceptions.



• One of the common misconceptions which are being circulated is that the whole concept of sexual surrogacy is illegal, unethical and in fact evil. It is easy to imagine why people would think as such. This is a country where almost half of the population has conservative values and do not like discussing private matters with any one such as sex. Of course then there is the other half which have no issues discussing about their sex life. In fact, they believe that if they don’t talk or find solutions to such problems then they cannot function comfortably as a complete person. Psychologists and psychotherapists therefore believe that the need of sex surrogates is very much there.



• Another misunderstanding about sex surrogates is that they are nothing but legalized prostitutes. However, as briefly written before the job of the prostitutes is entirely different than that of the surrogates. Whereas the prostitutes only help the individuals release extra sexual energy in them and the motive is to receive instant satisfaction, the goals of the sex surrogates is entirely different. The surrogate does sexual healing which most of the time does not involve having sex with the client. The aim of the sex surrogates is to deal with problems not enjoying having sex with the clients. The therapy mostly deals with improving communication skills and understanding one’s sexuality. If actual sex is needed or not, this is decided by the therapist not the surrogate or the client.



• A third misconception is that the sex surrogates treat only abnormal and miserable people and that this kind of therapy is not needed with normal individuals. Where it is true that people who are healthy as in their sex life do not require sex surrogacy, but those who do require are certainly not abnormal. It is due to some sexual dysfunction, that is, it could be medical or it could be psychological; which means that the clients due to their past life suffer from some fear of intimacy. The sex surrogates in this respect help the clients come out of these restraints.



In conclusion we have seen that people still widely mistake the profession of sexual surrogacy with other things. However this is not the case and people still need to be educated about the subject. For now it is satisfactory that those who require this therapy are getting it in the form of sex surrogates.


Friday, August 19, 2011

Who Seeks Help From Sex Surrogates?






Sex surrogates are also known as sex therapists. Sex surrogates make use of different therapies to help their clients. This could involve the use of communication skills, physical skills and telephonic conversations. These therapies help the client get over issues pertaining to their sexuality and their comfort level with their own sexuality.



Earlier tabooed, the services of sex surrogates became known in many of the states and people started coming out of their shell to treat their problems; realizing that something in them is not normal with relation to their sexuality. Realizing this difficult truth about themselves is the first step towards their recovery from love-shyness.



The therapies used by sex surrogates also help couples, married or otherwise, who are going through a difficult phase of their relationship. With the help of the sex surrogates, the couples can overcome whatever barriers they are facing which stops them to enjoy a blissful relationship.



Within a couple there could be number of things why they would approach the sex surrogates and here in this article we are going to discuss some of these reasons.



• Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder is one of the common problems due to which couples seek sex therapists or sex surrogates. This desire refers to having low levels of libido or sexual desires. There is nothing unusual about it. It can be triggered due to a number of reasons which could be medical or physical. Sex surrogates can help such a patient be aroused easily.



• Sometimes people just lose interest in having sex because of their negative feelings towards the opposite gender. This could be because of repetitive happenings which developed lack of trust for the other gender in the client over the time. The sex surrogates in such cases helps the client become comfortable with the other gender; to develop back that trust.



• The third reason why couples seek the help of sex surrogates is because either one of them could be uncomfortable with his/her sexuality or body. No matter what kind of body, the sex surrogates can help the client overcome this shyness so that he/she can confidently participate in the sexual activity.



• The need of sex surrogates can also arise, if the client is facing problems with orgasms, premature ejaculation or other performance related issues. The sex surrogates can in this respect can help the client perform better.



Often people believe that sex surrogates are required when all hope is lost in the common sex therapy in between couples and they are called upon as a last resort. However those who are already not in a relationship seek their help too; more so, because they intend getting into a successful relationship.



In such a case, the sex surrogates can help the individual in gaining confidence about entering a relationship. The clients do it as a measure to get their sex issues cleared before they are in a relationship rather than afterwards when it can create problem for them or their spouse in the relationship.


The Professional Triangle of Client, Sex Therapists And Sex Surrogates?






How sex surrogates work with clients is not simple. Sexual satisfaction is not the only thing aimed at in the therapies which sex surrogates use. These surrogates have received proper training which enables them to deal with the psychological issues.



The sex surrogates usually do not work alone. They work in conjunction to the sex therapists. So this creates a professional triangle of the sex therapist, surrogate and the client. The success of the therapy depends on how best each of them relates to each other. While it may seem as such, the client does not decide what the sex therapy is going to entail. It is mostly the sex therapist who decides on what procedures to take.



The client is of course a big part of this triangle because he pays for the therapy and it is the client who will have to reveal personal information about himself and is also prepared to undergo physical and psychological examination; still the client is not the one running the show.



The sex surrogates are also not the one who control the therapies. They are just assigned by the sex therapists to the client where the act of physical intimacy is required. The term ‘surrogate’ refers to someone who is replacing another person for the time being like surrogate mothers. Therefore at times when the sex therapist feels, the sex surrogate is required to act as a partner to the client.



Sex surrogates are not the only assisting personnel which are required by the sex therapists to deal with the client. Sex therapists also work in collaboration with urologists, psychiatrists, psychologists, physicians and sexologists.



Though normally it happens that when the client approaches a psychologist with his problems, he is referred to a sex therapist who sometimes calls a sex surrogate for assistance; the sex surrogate too can approach the patient. Whoever approaches first the main fact is that the activities are guided by the presence or orders of the sex therapist. The sex therapist is only absent when the sex surrogate is highly trained and qualified. But if the surrogate is not that qualified and there is no therapist, then the client should beware of being conned and taken advantage of.



So the sex surrogates function as the middle man between the therapist and the client. The surrogates act upon the instructions provided by the therapists and carry out physical and emotional teaching methods to achieve the goals as prescribed by the them. And after every session with the client, the surrogate reports back to the therapist about the progress with the client. Based on this information, the therapist further decides how the client should be dealt with.



So in conclusion the triangle of sex surrogates, sex therapists and clients function as a coordinated effort by all members of this triangle. In order to achieve best results, it has to work this way; with the therapist communicating what end he desires out of the therapy.


What Therapy Do Sex Surrogates Use?






In order to understand which therapeutic exercises, sex surrogates use, let us briefly discuss what the term ‘sex surrogates’ implies.



Sex surrogates are single or group of people who work in association with psychologists and psychotherapists to help individuals deal with issues relating to sexual incompetence or lack of confidence in the act of sex. The sex surrogates can help the people overcome whatever barriers they are facing so they can have a fulfilling and complete sex life.



Psychologists have come up to this understanding that both men and women need to have a sound sexual health so that they can function properly as a complete person.



This sexual surrogacy method was first used by Masters and Johnson and that was back in 1970. Back then sexual surrogacy was tabooed. It was not until 1985 when a private documentary was released. It was called Private Practices: The Story of a Sex Surrogate. The film documented a sex surrogate with two of her patients of varying age. This documentary surprisingly received many positive reviews from the critics.



There are different methods which sex surrogates apply as a single method or in combination to achieve their therapeutic goals. These methods can include communication skills, physical help, telephonic therapy and even through the internet.



• Many times the patient which could be both male and female go through problems of communicating with their sex partner. This could be because of past relationship problems the clients had faced in their child hood. Realizing the importance of communication in healthy and satisfying sex, the sex surrogates work on this aspect to make the patient more capable of communicating and thus becoming confident in that act as well as with themselves.



• Other than psychological issues the patients could also be suffering from some physical ailments or physical injuries which disable them from performing right or performing at all in the act of sex. The sex surrogates help these patients to deal with these problems and to find ways that would make them sexually able.



• Of course dealing with such issues could be embarrassing for many people which is why telephonic therapeutic sessions are also available. You can keep your identity secret being on the telephone. You can discuss your problems with ease and get advice without feeling the embarrassment or shame.



• Similarly, sex therapeutic sessions are also available online. You can get theoretic help as well as guidance from videos. This way also you can keep your identity secret and have no fear of this information passing out. Through videos you can learn how to deal with situations from the privacy of your bedroom.



The use of therapeutic sessions by sex surrogates is still not very openly accepted; which is why this service could be found in some states and not all of them. If you need more information on this service, whether it is available in your state or not, you can simply log on and get this information off the web.


Who Are Sex Surrogates and What do They do?




Sex surrogates are also known as sex therapists or sex surrogate partners. Many people still might not know about them. Sex surrogates have a lot to do with sexual healing of patients.



There are many people who require sexual healing because of their past psychological or physical changes that might have come upon them. Due to these various reasons, sex therapy is required. The therapy makes these patients more adept to the situations having sexual connotations.



It doesn’t come naturally to everybody to be at ease with themselves, their body or their partners during sex. As said before, it could be because of numerous reasons. Whatever the reasons, these sex therapists or sex surrogates helps the patients to move beyond those blocking reasons.



Many people confuse or label these sex surrogates as nothing but prostitutes, call girls or strippers. It is because many times the therapeutic sessions also involve the sex surrogates to participate in sexual activity or sexual intercourse with their clients. And of course they charge money for the sessions. However the sex surrogates have received proper therapeutical training and they work in collaboration with psychologists and psychotherapists.



Often during the therapeutic sessions a psychologist or another sex surrogate is present in the room. Sometimes it involves both the sexual partners to be in the same room and therapy is performed as a couple therapy. Having said that it doesn’t always mean that sexual intercourse will be needed to complete a therapy. Other physical techniques could also be used to make it an effective therapy.



Among this mass confusion which surrounds the profession of sex surrogates, it takes a lot of self-courage to approach one of these workers. However the level of therapy the patient wants can also be decided by him. He can even opt for telephonic sessions or sessions through videos, or he could even go for online sessions. The whole idea is that one should feel comfortable with the whole sex thing.



The sex surrogates too have been attacked by many labels which is why they are not advertised openly. They sometimes work with the psychologists or psychotherapists in their office or practice in their own private place. These sex surrogates, in fact, consider themselves to be like sexual priestesses—deeming their work positive and sacred. They consider their work to provide a lot of mutual and self-respect in the patients.



So in short we learned that the sex surrogates act as sex partners to their clients or patients. These patients could be both men and women and could be belonging to any age group. The clients require these sex surrogates to help them recover from feelings of or actual disability which does not help them perform adequately to achieve sexual pleasures.



The sex therapies could also be approached to revive missing or lost sex life within happy couples who want to work out the only aspect which is keeping them from becoming a completely happy and healthy couple.


Wednesday, August 10, 2011

What is a Sex Surrogate?


By Tara Livingston




When you hear that an experienced sex surrogate partner is inviting you to learn about intimacy, compassion and sensual caring, what does that really mean? What is a sex surrogate?




By definition a sexual surrogate, or surrogate partner, is a professional who helps clients overcome sexual dysfunction. Most surrogates are women, a few are men and there are also married couples that practice surrogacy together. The general term of sexual surrogacy can involve varying levels of practice. Some surrogates work at counseling centers while others have their own office. Some surrogates offer additional services besides surrogacy such as telephone counseling or sexological bodywork.




The majority of surrogates you meet will have a strong educational background and legitimate credentials, dealing with sexuality, psychology and counseling. Surrogates should always be certified in their practices; this allows them to work closely with psychiatrists, psychologists, sexologists and therapists in the best interests of the client.




[Note: Throughout this text, the client is referred to as male. Though single men do make up the majority of surrogate clients, there are also female clients and married couples who seek out surrogacy solutions together.]




Indeed, there is a science to help sexual dysfunction. The cure is beyond just listening to a client's problems, beyond explaining the solutions, and certainly beyond sexual intimacy. A skilled sex surrogate knows that a combination of all three factors--that is talking, listening and demonstration--are necessary to truly help resolve a client's sexual problems beyond just a quick counseling session.




What kind of specific problems are we talking about? While a surrogate deals with many different types of cases in a year's time, there are many typical problems that come up. Some are psychological; men may have trouble with intimacy, a lack of confidence, communication problems with women in general, dating anxiety and sexual inhibitions. Others are physical dysfunctions that require more particular treatment, such as impotence, premature ejaculation, or an assortment of diseases that could cause painful intercourse. Sometimes there are people who have experienced a change in lifestyle due to a disability, and a surrogate can help them explore and develop sexual potential. The term of sexual dysfunction is very broad and what methods a surrogate might use to help improve sexual function are just as varied. Simply put, treatments must be decided upon on an individual basis by a therapist. What can cure one person of a particular sexual phobia might not help someone else. Surrogates know this and therefore must have very adept social and interpersonal skills.




This is why surrogates work closely with sex therapists. Since many sexual problems are psychological rather than physical, communication pays a key role in the process. Not only between lovers, not only between a client and his sex surrogate, but also between the surrogate and the therapist.




What does it mean when expressions like "personal contact", "sensual caring" and "adult advice" are used? Do sexual surrogates become sexually acquainted with their clients? How is it that sexual surrogacy differs from sexual advice or even "sex coaching?"




First of all, sexual surrogacy is not just about sex as a device. If you try and meet a certified surrogate and fictionalize a sexual problem just for your own entertainment, you're not going to get very far. Sexual surrogacy is about sexual, physical and psychological health. Remember that surrogates work closely with therapists or psychologists, ensuring that the problem is corrected and that the client makes significant progress. Instead of providing a man with a date, as would an escort agency, a surrogate would help men improve their social and dating skills, if the therapist agreed there was a problem. But surrogacy is not a sex business--it's a field of study, a professional practice, a source of sexual education.




On the other hand, sexual surrogacy would be more intense than just regular sexual coaching. Usually coaching, or other forms of adult advice, offers only head knowledge with no real resolution of the client's problem. Frankly, coaching seems appropriate for clients that just like to talk and are not quite ready to take appropriate steps to fix the problem. A sex surrogate, in accordance with a qualified therapist, would offer therapeutic exercises to help the client. This might include showing relaxation techniques, intimate communication, teaching social skills, and some sexual touching if the surrogate and therapist feel it's necessary.




In short, a sex surrogate is someone who helps people with their sexual problems. They don't just lend a sympathetic ear. They take action to help their clients through various sexual problems and restore a person's natural sex life to where it should be. They do this with help from a therapist, and of course, with help from the client who truly wants to make a change in his life and puts forth the effort to make those changes.




Tara Livingston has been a certified sex surrogate and sex educator in Los Angeles for the past 20 years. She received her training from Dr. Barbara Roberts, one of the original surrogates who worked with Masters and Johnson, sexual pioneers of the 20th century.




Ms.Livingston is a familiar face on the public speaking tour. Her main theme is the presentation of clear, unbiased information about sexuality, dispelling shame and guilt often associated with sexuality.




Her education includes an undergraduate degreee in Psychology and post-graduate work at Antioch University. In addition, she earned her certification as a sex educator from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Sexuality in San Fransisco.




She has been certified as a sex surrogate by two training orgnaizations, The Center for Social and Sensory Learning and the International Professional Surrogates Association.




In addition, she is a member of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Teachers, and the Scientific Study of Sexuality.




Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tara_Livingston